Lindsay Lohan, hospital gowns and crisis comms

Part of effective crisis communications is preparation: carefully building a level of trust with your audience and stakeholders through honest, transparent and frequent communications. A trusting and responsive dialogue with your audiences is essential if you hope to avoid dissension and confrontation when a crisis eventually erupts.

Apparently, teen starlet Lindsay Lohan's public relations counsellors are laying a careful tapestry of fact and fiction in anticipation of the next onslaught of papparazzi and gossip pimps: Lindsay has announced that she is beginning a strenuous workout and diet regime to regain her former figure.

    "...This preemptive strike against the inevitable rumors that Lindsay Lohan's] upcoming hospital stay (an injury suffered while working out is nicely set up) will involve the reinstallation of aftermarket mammaries is nothing short of inspired. It takes brass balls of considerable mass to tell the public that vigorous exercise regimen increases breast size and that puberty reduces it. The only thing separating this ingeniously crafted item from immediate induction into the PR Hall of Fame is its ommission of a seemingly offhanded remark about her trainer’s quirky habit of wearing a lab coat and hanging out in the hospital..."(Defamer)

Think "aftermarket mammaries" is a funny and original witticism? Try looking at this 2003 review of "Battle of the Network Stars."