"Passengers filling in answers on their Sudokus, please accept they are just crosswords for the unimaginative and are not in any way more impressive just because they contain numbers."
"Passengers should note that the bearded man's rucksack contains the following items only: some sandwiches, a library card, and a picture of a bare ankle, and is no cause for concern."
"Passengers are reminded, like mosts voice-over artists, I probably look nothing like you imagine, and may turn out to be somewhat of a disappointment."
That's the work of Emma Clarke, the voice over artist who used to record the announcements for the London Underground. She was recently fired for comments she made to a London newspaper - and not for her gently mocking spoofs, the Underground says.
"Some of the spoof announcements are very funny, but Emma is a bit silly to go round slagging off her client's services. London Underground is sorry to have to announce that further contracts for Ms Clarke are experiencing severe delays." (London Times)
[tags] London Underground, voice over, satire [/tags]